Military service and the middle of America…

About 11 percent of West Virginians are veterans. In my family of origin, 33 percent are vets. Dad served; me and mom, no. See, numbers are tricky.
But I thought maybe census data could explain Beckley, West Virginia, the place I spent veterans day. In the U.S., less than 10 percent of the population over 18 has served in the military, so it seems meaningful that West Virginia beats the average and Beckley, West Virginia, is home to an even higher number—12 percent of the population has served.
flags at the parade
Lori and Colby in Beckley
In New Jersey—where I grew up and where my dad the Navy vet still lives—when you say “veteran,” chances are you’re talking about a senior citizen. A third of the vets are over 75. No one gets drafted anymore, so it’s not surprising that the number of older vets is higher than younger ones—back in the day, service wasn’t a choice.
But when you say “veteran” in West Virginia, there’s a better than average chance you’re talking about someone who has served in the current generation of soldiers—someone who joined since 1990, who is younger than, say, me, who has been to the Gulf and Afghanistan.
In a way, the numbers show how our country is becoming two places, and the gulf between us is widening. Why do more people serve in towns like Beckley, West Virginia? Job opportunities play a part, and so does the truth that people here are much more accustomed to guns in general; walking in fields with rifles starts young.People here will tell you, though, that it’s in the culture, to serve. It’s a growing part of what is valued. God and country and family: take these things seriously.
None of that is especially surprising, I know.
But what I’ve felt, as I’ve traveled through places like Missouri, Kentucky, Iowa, Indiana, Ohio, and now West Virginia—all places where better than 10 percent are veterans—is that when people believe things in these places, they believe with whole hearts. Whole hearts, made-up minds, determination.
And numbers can’t back me up on the “why” part of all this but still, I sense that the need to believe in something is great here for good reason. The need is great enough to match the size of some great and very visible disappointments.
There’s the thing: look at the shrinking populations, the lost industries, the abandoned properties all over the landscape. Look at methamphetamine. Seriously, don’t close your eyes to that. Look at the downtowns that were built when America was young and believed in itself, and how they have been emptied, gutted, abandoned. What is left as proof of our character—something we can recognize and understand?
Military service is a higher calling of sorts and it doesn’t mess around, just like Jesus doesn’t mess around, and wedding vows are meant to last — 22 states (including West Virginia and all the other states I listed above) have introduced “covenant marriage laws” to keep it that way; three states have such laws on the books.I believe I understand some of this.
I feel that craving for higher purpose viscerally—as in, when the color guard comes down Main Street and the high school marching band bangs out God Bless America and chubby girls spin their flags, I start to cry.
Yeah, I actually do cry and I can’t help it.
The need to believe is great. I feel it too. Where I begin to drift away—drift back home, back East, where patriotism seems too lock-step for people more comfortable with books than guns—is on this little detail: Killing. Violence in the world is not a healthy thing for us to count on, in terms of building American self-esteem.
When will it be possible to believe in something that builds us up? Like, maybe, teaching? Like, maybe, love?

Scamp attack

The Victim and the Crime

Hero trucker

He made the call that saved my Benadryl.

scamp haul

The booty from the Scamp bust.

Thump thump thump.  It’s 5:38 a.m. “Louisville police.” Thump thump thump.
I’m dreaming of something scary anyhow so this pounding on my door at the Baymont Inn sort of blends in and it takes awhile for Louisville’s finest to rouse me. As the fog lifts, the first thing I think is, “did I do something?” Seriously. I run my night of baseball watching and BBQ eating through my brain.
“Lori? You in there? We need you to open the door.” I think it over. My conscience is clean. Colby, my watch dog, is still asleep—we have a king-sized bed with feather pillows, so, count him out for anything.
“Okay, I need to see badges,” I say, looking through the peephole (through which, in truth, I can see nothing but I want to sound like I know how this is done.)
“We’re in uniform, ma’am.”
“Right.” I open the door. The police in Louisville, Kentucky—at least the ones who draw the overnight shift on a Sunday–are apparently all fresh-faced, young, competent, and just totally adorable. In the next 30 minutes I’ll meet about 10 of them and they will all be so nice and good looking and, like, capable and focused and everything, I will want to be protected by them always. I don’t think the pair at my door smile as I stand there in my jammies but even hours later, I recall a sense of wanting to invite them in for a PJ party.
Anyhow, the crime: I’m in a city, so, I had taken a motel room and parked my Scamp out back, where it would be safe.
“Someone broke into your trailer, ma’am, and we need you to come see if you can identify any of the stuff the perpetrator took from it.” I can’t be certain they said “perpetrator” but anyhow, they tell me they got the guy; he’s been arrested and is outside. A trucker who had been sleeping in his cab saw someone climbing into my trailer and called 911; a couple minutes later it was over.
The burglar is sitting on the curb in the parking lot, cuffed. He is gangly and lean. Down there so near the ground, his knees seem to be up around his ears. He is in his burglar outfit: all black clothes, hoodie up over his head, black shoes. He is clean-shaven and young and makes me think of my students, sort of a young dopey kid with a hangdog expression. He says, “I’m real sorry that I done got you up out of bed, ma’am.”
I don’t really know what to say to this. It can’t have totally sunk in that he is going to jail now. I want to say something; I want to interview him, actually. But standing out back of the camper at 5:41 a.m., seeing that all he took from me was a box of Benadryl, and seeing that every police car in the city seems to have come down here because my Scamp—so easily violated, but don’t worry, I fixed that—has been burglarized, and the excellent servants of Louisville cannot let that stand… seeing this scene, what I feel is pity. Really.
I want to say I feel sorrow or anger or even curiosity and that I feel the perpetrator is worth a few questions on my recorder (which, with camera and notebook, reflexively I brought outside) but that is not how I feel. I just think this is pathetic. One of the cops even says that if I plan to write about this, I ought to add a chase and a shootout.
“These your things ma’am?” an officer asks.
“Yes—that’s my Benadryl, and that’s my jewelry bag.” The mention of the jewelry bag, which is empty, creates a flurry of activity and some shouts and various threats to the burglar idiot to cough up what he’s obviously hiding but, as it turns out, he didn’t take my jewelry. Just the bag. The jewelry is still in the trailer.
“It’s not like there was nothing in it worth much,” he says. “Nothin’ personal about your jewelry, ma’am.”
The police took him away, presumably to book him and for him to then enter a plea, presumably guilty, and then presumably for him to bargain his way back out of the charges so that he will be free to try this again and next time, he’ll be more careful, I should think. The police wrap things up and I am left there feeling like it should not seem so petty, and so pointless, stealing little pills to make harder drugs from them (because methamphetamine comes from cold pills, as surely we all know by now). I am left there thinking that even I could be more criminal than that.
I felt sad for hours. Then it was time to move on.

Shuttered buildings

Road Trip Itinerary Forged in Hell

steel mill
If you had a few months and a car and a trailer and a dog, where would you go? Cross out most of the continents on our planet because you can’t get this stuff across the oceans, so, South Africa is definitely out, though very appealing (and the elephant sanctuary is definitely a place I want to get to eventually). Even Central/South America, while technically drivable, are unlikely destinations because these would involve passing through Mexico where in some states the chances of being held up and robbed of all your stuff (see blog post #2/Packing for details on what all the stuff is) would be very high. I do not mean to slur Mexico but it really can be dangerous, and the drug crime is out of control in some parts, so, it’s not my top choice for an adventure.

(Though actually, let me say that I have known two people–one an ex’s cousin’s partner, one a cab driver I spent some time talking to while stuck in traffic one day–who did do Road Trips through Mexico, both about 40 years ago; the cab driver actually made it down through Argentina because he was in a Volkswagen bug whose engine he had converted to be able to run on just about anything, including filtered cooking oil, and the ensuing adventures made so captivating a story that I almost wanted to hug the guy when we finally got to the airport and I had to get out of the cab. But I digress…)

So let’s say you are planning a road trip in North America, probably just the U.S. and Canada–but because Canada is really beautiful (and feels almost exotic, once you get outside Toronto; you can practically drive to the Hudson Bay, check out the map, there’s this one road that goes, like, to the north pole sort of), I have agreed with my partner Suzanne that I will save Canada for next summer when we can do it together. So now the territory has been narrowed to the United States of America, but it’s a big country, so you have to pick and choose. Steinbeck, when he traveled with his dog, made a ring around the country, which as anyone knows means that he didn’t really see the country at all, because when you cling to the edges you see only the easy stuff, the beaches, the largest cities, the most beautiful national parks. I mean, L.A.? Seattle? Boston? Been there, done that. Most people have done that, if they’ve seen anything in this country at all. It’s in the middle where things get real, and that is where I decided to go, and where in fact I am now–as I write, I am in Missouri.

Another aside: At dinner the other night with some of the faculty of Missouri’s famed journalism school, I mentioned that I’d done some “apartment swaps” with my NYC home in order to spend time in Europe; “what Parisian would want to come to Columbia, Missouri?” they laughed (because in the Midwest people are too good natured, generally, to complain so they laugh at themselves instead). “Everyone wants to come to Missouri,” I exclaimed, banging the dinner table. It is not exactly true but I think it should be.

Alright, so I want to go off the beaten path. But that still leaves a lot to figure out. Once I’d decided to travel with Colby through the middle of the country, I next anchored my route in three conferences: the first is in Rockford, Illinois, hosted but the Society of Industrial Archaeology (yes! it is the geekiest sounding organization ever! and it is also profoundly awesome, so, more of that in a future post); the second is with the Pioneer America Society in Utica, New York, but that is sort of inconvenient because it means backtracking–I will have to fly back to get to that one, but it involves the Mohawk Valley and the Erie Canal, where I have recently been, so it is totally relevant even if it occurs out of order–and the third is in Indianapolis, Indiana, a conference hosted by the National Trust for Historic Preservation. These are the anchor points. They are spread out into November. To fill out the time in between, I looked at a big, beautiful map of America and felt…well…overwhelmed.

There is too much there. I cannot see it all. I can try and try, I can turn down every road I see, but I will never get to see it all. It is folly. It is like trying to eat once in every single restaurant in New York City, including all the deli salad bars. It can’t be done and even if you came close, every day a new place pops up and you’d

have to add that to the list; the list is endless. You’d eat and eat and eat all day every day and still, there would be more. America is like that.sunset road

Break out a map, kids. (And I do mean “A MAP” and not your GPS, because it’s not driving directions we want here but an overview; GPS is a tool, but maps are the world.) Look: I love the map, it fills me with impossible desire. I want to touch each place on it once, I want to be everywhere, I start to ache. There is a canal in Illinois called the Hennepin. Who the hell knew? I mean, we barely recall the Erie Canal and it was both an engineering marvel and an economic super-engine. Who the hell built the Hennepin? Why am I not kayaking on it today? The number of little state and national parks is extraordinary, though I am not quite so sad to not be able to experience each one as I am sad to miss seeing every single town and city, because at least with parks I can more or less know what’s going to be there–nature! glorious, American nature, waterfalls, ponds, trees, dirt, all the stuff our government (in the time when it was wise and smart and not shut down, as it is right now, as I type) had the foresight and determination to preserve for future generations as humanity churned up the real estate. So I can pass over the parks but how can I live with myself for not spending an hour at least in Monmouth Illinois where Wyatt Earp was born? And I drove through Macomb, where I discovered Western Illinois University as if it was the Grand Canyon and I was a 16th century Spaniard on a horse: My God, look at that! There is a university here! A big one that I will never teach a class at! What is wrong with me? And is there a mill in Duncan Mills and what does it make? Are there baths in Bath? Why are so many names in Illinois the same as the names in NY and NJ, like Brooklyn and Schuyler County and Camden? This is just a little piece of one page of a map covering one part of one state and it is absolutely beyond my ability to know anything about 99 percent of it. There is no time. I look at the little dots in the map and I feel like an old friend of mine did when she saw tiny kittens and swelled with impossible love and when she felt bowled over in this way, she would say, “I want to hold them in my mouth.” I do. I want to stuff America into my mouth and hold it there, where it will be safe.

But, no. I did not eat my map. Instead, I plotted a route across the middle of America in which I would be able to see as much as possible, and specifically (because I have a plan; there is a post on that too) I am looking for places where American industrial and manufacturing might was born and grew and eventually faded, because I am interested in those things as a way of understanding our country, and where it finds itself now, which is a strange place indeed, full of much disappointment and confusion. This country is not all ruins and disappointment; it is a marvelous place, too, and I know that, but sometimes I can’t remember exactly why, so I’m going to have a look.

The itinerary is “forged in hell” in a way because when I recite the major sights I plan to see, most people I know are basically glad not to be with me even if it would mean they were not at work today, or this week–or, this year basically. Here are the highlights:

The Mohawk Valley–> Buffalo –> The Allegheny Mountains and Oil City, Titusville –> Pittsburgh –> steel towns in the region known as Pennsyltucky –> Elkhart Indiana (The RV Hall of Fame!) –> Rockford, Illinois –> Hannibal, Missouri –> Columbia, Missouri –> some place in Iowa along the Mississippi River, preferably a place that has lost about half its population and most of its jobs –> Milwaukee –> Green Bay –> Utica, and NYC for a break. After the break, pick up the camper and dog in Milwaukee and head on down through Illinois, through parts of Kentucky and southern Ohio, up to Indianapolis, then over to Altoona Pa., West Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, and home. And when that’s done, I think I’ll try the southern states, but, I’m a northern girl through-and-through, so, I’ll have to get all this in first as practice to prepare for that.

Thinking of how I have sometimes been afraid to show up in small, broken towns that I have seen along the way, and how I am a little worried to go poking around in some areas with my New York license plates, it strikes me that it is very strange indeed, to fear my own country. I’m not talking about driving into the bad crime areas. I’m talking about entering the unknown, and wondering if I will find that we’ve become hostile to ourselves, our fellows in this country. I felt that in the dead and dying steel towns south of Pittsburgh. At times, I can’t quite comprehend that we are creatures who share a home, share a government… but we do. And so I’m on the road, to introduce myself, and hope that we can find some way to get along, once we get to know each other.

How to Pack for a Road Trip

Tons of gear

This isn’t even everything

The ability to travel light is a virtue; there is no debating that. I have never really possessed this virtue. Confess: how many pairs of shoes do you need for even just one weekend? Right. Running shoes, walking shoes, dressy shoes, comfy shoes, something flip-floppy. I am packing for 10 weeks. Now, I truly hate to acknowledge the gender gap here, but, seriously–I recognize that there are men who may be reading this post and who are just about now ready to move on because I wrote about shoes up there but STOP. Come on. Really. You can go off for the weekend with nothing more than a bandana and a book of matches? Really? Come on.

When I was getting ready to leave, I asked my neighbors (who I love) “How much do I need to pack for this road trip?” and Neighbor Husband said, “pair of shorts, pair of jeans, two t-shirts, long-sleeved shirt, two socks, two underwear, sweatshirt.” He said this like he packs for a 10-week trip every day. In fact, he used to camp a lot with “difficult youths” as a wilderness counselor so maybe that short list, plus a case of Mountain Dew and cigarettes really was his pared-down reality. But sensible as this prescription was, it was not going to work for me. I figured I had to pack for so many realities: changing seasons, hotels, campgrounds, workouts, dinner parties, conferences, rain; I had to pack for the possibility of swimming and for the  inevitable sad, lonely road moments when I would need something soft and fuzzy and warm to surround me and help me hold my shit together–a form of soothing that maybe Neighbor Husband could accomplish with a simple change of socks, but, not me. (This is actually Colby’s role–to be soft, fuzzy, and  comforting. But the truth is, if I start to freak out, Colby also starts to freak out, and more often than not, in times of stress it is Colby who freaks out first and thus it becomes my job to be soft, fuzzy, and comforting. So in short, I needed to pack at least one fleecy pullover thing, if not two–considering where I was planning to travel…more on that in an upcoming post.)

There is an underlying truth of the matter, so I may as well just cut to it: I am (wait for it, cyber friends…this is messed up) 49 years old. And that means I’ve been working and earning for a very long time–actually, since I was 15 (though I spent all the money I made at that first job, from age 15 to 17, on things I can’t write about openly and also on a really ridiculous, rusty little car called “The Goddess Mobile,” named thusly because I thought in cosmic terms back then, and named things accordingly), and because I’ve worked so long and saved some, and because I have an awesome set of parents who support my dreams even to this day, and because my employer–Norwalk Community College–is supporting me somewhat on this sabbatical journey that I’m partly on (though the whole “let’s go for a drive, Colby!” thing is strictly personal…) the bottom line is, I do not actually have to travel light. I can–because I’ve reached a certain dreadful age–afford to not travel light. I’m not traveling extravagantly, but, I’ve got some stuff along for the ride. And though I have all my life admired the expression “just a hippie gypsy,” I can’t honestly make those words apply to me, just as the Scamp has not been named “The Goddess Domicile.” I am not floating down the road.  I am not rambling. I am dragging The Dog House.

Alright. So here, then,  is a list of things that you really should bring on a road trip, if you have the ability, and the space, and you are willing to surrender to your true desire to be acquisitive and stuff-laden, which is a truth lurking in us all, because we are humans, we are Americans (if you’re reading I assume you are but HEY how cool if you are not!) and it is 2013, and RETAIL is the dominant force in our economy (don’t worry; go shopping!!!) and to deny this is folly. You really need:

  • 1 Good car and 1 trailer–check!
  • $100 in groceries from Trader Joe’s, including quinoa and smoked tofu (if you are a fruity northeasterner, as I am, this is like water. Also, while we’re on it, bring water);
  • Tarp, blanket, another blanket, four towels (Colby needs three), comforter, pillow;
  • Big pot, little pot, fry pan, 2 bowls, 2 plates, 2 glasses, 2 mixing bowls, one overly expensive French press, a good mug, a tea kettle;
  • Self-buttering popcorn lid that was found at thrift shop where pots and pans were bought and was irresistible;
  • Two camp chairs, a fold-up table, camp lantern;
  • Wind chimes, clothes line, cooler, tool box, tools, duct tap, lots of duct tape;
  • A big, big plastic bin filled with all the books you know you’ll want and the ones that you might want and also the ones you should want and also a few that you saw and thought, “oh, I forgot about that one!” while you were packing…
  • Enough electronic gadgetry to arm a fleet of angry(?) robots;
  • 20 pounds of dog food, dog treats, leash, spare leash;
  • An atlas, a Woodall’s Guide to Midwestern Campgrounds, a GPS unit;
  • Clothes and shoes, shoes and clothes, clothes and shoes;
  • fishing pole/tackle box;
  • mini barbecue, charcoal, matches, lighter fluid;
  • Dog bed, dog medicines, my medicines, other pills that sometimes come in handy like aspirin;
  • A mesh bag with the usual toiletries as well as cosmetic clay masks, planter’s wart pads, athletic tape, body lotion, wrinkle eraser and vitamin cream (because by god, in addition to traveling and writing, I am going to use this time to heal my feet, take 10 years off my face, lose 10 pounds and get very, very healthy)…
  • And.. what else? I know I’m forgetting something. That’s the thing: we plan and plan but always forget something. I have all this stuff because you know what? I can have it, and I might need it, and I have room to take it. That’s the main thing. Traveling light is a true virtue, but, getting stuck without something you really need, like your passport or a corkscrew, really sucks.

POST SCRIPT: three days into my trip, I realized I probably only needed to bring a pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, two t-shirts, two socks, two underwear, and a sweatshirt, and maybe a couple other things. And for the other things that I had completely forgotten, I found that it was easy to hit the Dollar Store, because in America in 2013, every single little struggling or plain-old dead town (the kind of town I am seeing plenty of) has a Dollar Store. So I went out and bought what I simply could not live without: a little garbage bin, two throw rugs for the trailer (because it fills up with foot dirt so fast), an extension cord, a voice recorder, a laundry bag, and a six-pack of diet root beer. All easily obtained at the Dollar Store and now I am all set. I also want to mention here that when I packed I did NOT bring my guitar, bicycle, kayak or any form of television or other entertainment mechanism. I miss these things, but, listen to me: THE POINT OF A ROAD TRIP is to do things differently, so, obviously, I had to leave some things behind.

Scamp bathroom

Buy a Scamp, see the world

The Scamp

This is my trailer.

kitchen

My galley kitchen

I decided that I wanted to travel with Colby in the simplest manner possible, and not in some sort of monster truck. I did my homework. Steinbeck traveled with Charley in an early version of the RV–a camper affixed to a truck body. He named it Rossinante.

Fifty-three years later, it is mind boggling how much more there is to choose from: Fiberglass campers, aluminum campers, travel trailers, mobile homes, fifth-wheels, truck-bed set-ins, pop ups. I knew I wanted to be surrounded by something solid, for safety. And I knew I wanted to be able to untether my car, so that when I parked somewhere I could leave the trailer and go explore.

I searched online for deals. There are some fantastic little trailers out there. You can check out fiberglass trailers on the Web and read about some of the ones for sale. I really dug this one little Boler camper that I saw in New Jersey–I took my mom and dad with me to look, because I am mildly paranoid about going alone to visit people I meet on the internet. (Though how my parents, in their 80s, were going to help me if I landed in a nest of marauding cannibals is another matter.) This little Boler was awesome; it had been redone with a checkerboard floor and painted white and aqua, very retro looking.

But the truth is, I needed more than cute. I needed functional. I needed an actual bathroom, not a port-o-pot, and I needed everything in it to work. Another couple was there to see the Boler at the same time as me; they were about 15 years younger, they were more the type for buying something that would not quite work so that, when they get to be my age, they can appreciate the need to do the sensible thing. In any case, my search landed me in Thetford, Vt., where I purchased a 13-foot Scamp trailer that was just a year old from a guy named Warren.

Now, what was especially awesome about this purchase was that Warren came down on his price because he liked my project and was willing to barter. He is working on a website for people who give up drinking. He knocked off a thousand dollars so long as I agreed to provide four short profiles for his page. As of today, I have found two people I know who have given up booze and neither have consented to an interview–so if you are a sober person, preferably one who is famous, please contact me.

I knew I’d buy that Scamp even before I saw it. The day Suzanne and I went to look, during the tour a horrible sulfur smell escaped from somewhere deep inside the thing, but, it might have been Warren, I thought, who was a very nice, energetic, well-groomed guy but, hey, maybe he stank? Or it may have been coming from the Scamp fridge…because we found two Power bars in there growing mold… but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was my trailer.

I returned to pull it home, and spent a few hours dashing around to Walmart and U-haul and AutoZone, looking for an adapter for the trailer hitch, but, that just cemented my strange bond to Warren, who I like very much and feel connected to; he got this Scamp just a year ago as if he had been saving it for me. It is not easy to find a used Scamp, especially a newer one with a bathroom in it (instead of extra beds). Warren had used it, but, he and his wife had a baby and that meant they weren’t likely to use it again. And so in late August, adapter in place, money exchanged, promise to write about sober people made, I took my trailer home.

I am not as bookish as Steinbeck, I suppose, or maybe it’s just that our culture has changed so much, exchanged its high brows for lower ones. In any case, I christened the machine The Dog House.  I was ready to put me and my dog in it and hit the road.